Being mean. This is the phrase people use to describe emotional abuse. What does "being mean" mean? In general, it means that one sibling is trying to tear another down, and dominate them in some way. How, exactly does "being mean" look? There are zillions of ways one sibling can be mean to another. Here are some of the most common ones.
Conning: This means tricking a sibling out of something. A sibling can manipulate another sibling into doing something.
Provoking: When a sibling provokes another, that sibling is intentionally trying to get a reaction out of the other one. They may be doing so to get the other in trouble, or solely for entertainment purposes.
Intimidating: In the book Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert, the author describes one story where she would play cards with her sister and would cheat to lose so her sister wouldn't get mad at her. Intimidation can be a sibling's anger or threats. It is intentionally scaring a sibling.
Name-calling: One of the most blatant forms of sibling abuse, name-calling means labeling a victim. "Loser" is a popular one.
Belittling: This is when one sibling claims that the other is somehow less impressive or important than they otherwise indicate.
Teasing: An indirect approach, teasing means calling attention to what the victim is saying, doing, or wearing. A sibling who teases will make fun of a sibling's choice of clothing, or how the victim acts, how the victim speaks, or the body type of the victim.
Insulting: A more direct approach than teasing, insulting means calling direct attention to a victim's behavior. This might mean saying directly "you're stupid," or "you're fat," or "you're ugly," or something like that.
Embarrassing: Another popular tactic, an abusive sibling will often try to embarrass another by sharing an embarrassing story about them. This is not done in an endearing way, but as a means to make the other feel worthless.
Dehumanizing: "Dehumanizing" means taking away a person's human attributes in order to make them less human. With brothers, this can often take the form of emasculation. One victim of emotional sibling abuse told me one story about how his brother once made fun of him for buying a "girl's toy."
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