Risk Factors: Sibling Physical Abuse

Physical abuse of a sibling is more common than many parents realize. It is estimated that about 53% of children have committed at least one act of severe aggression toward a sibling (Wiehe, V., "Rivalry or Abuse?"). Physical abuse can be long-term or intermittent, but any violence toward a sibling threatens the physical and emotional well-being of the child. Here are some risk factors for sibling physical abuse:

• Inappropriate Care-taking Roles: When one child is burdened with so much responsibility for a sibling that he or she is essentially that child's surrogate parent, physical abuse often ensues. Parents should use resources such as after school care programs instead of leaving older children in charge of younger ones. Parents should also educate themselves on appropriate times to leave their children on their own, and understand that no child of any age should be burdened with too much responsibility for a sibling.
• Children have observed violence: Children (and people) often learn by observing others. If children have been exposed to violence, either through the media, at school, or in their neighborhood, they are more likely to see it as an acceptable way to resolve conflicts.
• Parents don't intervene: When parents see violence between children, they may assume it is normal roughhousing or part of a two-way fight. If parents are frequently not at home, then there is no parent around to stop the violence. 

It is important to note that violence toward a sibling should never be downplayed. Physical abuse of a child by a child is just as harmful as physical abuse of a child by a parent. Parents are responsible for setting very clear rules and enforcing them. Violence is never acceptable. 

What is Sibling Abuse?

So now that I've got this blog rolling, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty issue: what exactly is sibling abuse? Researchers disagree on an exact definition, but it can be broadly defined as the “physical, emotional, or sexual abuse of one sibling by another.”[1] But how, exactly, can we put this definition into practice?

We can all agree that there is no excuse for physical or sexual abuse. Emotional abuse is not as clear-cut. Parents know that it can be hard at times to ascertain which sibling is being picked on and which is doing the picking. Being able to define sibling abuse requires an ability to distinguish abuse from rivalry.  Different researchers have come up with different strategies for making this distinction. Doctor Vernon Wiehe, a professor of social work at the University of Kentucky, is a prominent researcher of sibling abuse and has developed a system for ascertaining if a situation is abusive. His method is available here. He has some intriguing theories as to why siblings become abusive and what parents can do to prevent abuse.

Systems such as Wiehe's can be a bit complicated and hard to follow. So I have developed my own system for ascertaining if a situation is abusive. I call it: Four Red Flags of Sibling Abuse
Here’s a breakdown:

• Their roles are rigid. One sibling is always the victim; the other is always the aggressor. [2]
• One sibling is frightened of the other
• The aggressor's main objective is to get a thrill from the behavior (rather than to retaliate, express a frustration, compete, etc.)
• One sibling consistently attacks with no provocation

If parents notice one or all of these signs, they are dealing with sibling abuse. Once they have found out about it, they must do everything in their power to stop it. This means educating themselves, finding resources, and practicing different methods until they have successfully eradicated bullying from their homes. I hope my blog will point them in the right direction.  

              

  

                

                

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[1] Frazier BH, Hayes KC. Selected Resources on Sibling Abuse: An Annotated Bibliography For Researchers, Educators and Consumers. SRB 94 – 08 Special Reference Briefs. 1994. Formerly available at URL: http://www.cyfernet.org/research/sibabuse.html. Accessed 23 May 2008.

[2] Boyse, Kyla, RN. "University of Michigan Health System." Sibling Abuse: Your Child:. N.p., Nov. 2012. Web. 01 Feb. 2013.